Thoughts... Conversations..

Believe what you want but no one starts at the top. Well, maybe I can't say no one but not often does anyone start out on top. Someone at some point decided to invest in you. To believe in you. Someone decided to help you along the road to success. I'm a firm believer in being independent and self-fuccient but unless you're looking for anything less than greatness, you're going to need some help at some point.

The reason I bring this up is because I was having a conversation about being in a relationship with a guy who acts like he has a problem helping you finacially. Like how, as a woman, do you deal with that? I personally feel like when you're in a relationship with a person this is a person you ultimately chose to invest in rather it be time or money. Perhaps both. I understand the concept of having your own but call me traditional for saying I don't think a grown man should ever have a problem providing for his woman. What is that to complain about? Especially a woman that never bothers you for anything and never has to be told to do what is needed when it comes to the 100% she provides. 

Why is it so easy for these boys to invest in their image and reputation but so hard to invest in what will matter when all the lights dim? Is it a society issue? I feel like we've been warped into believing that any man that takes care of a woman is tricking off and any woman who feels she deserves to be spoiled is a gold digger.  So how do we find a medium? 

Do I believe, as a woman, you can successfully run a household on your own? Yes. I also believe that it's much easier to run that household as a team. When you're in a relationship you're suppose to give 100% of yourself to that other person. If you're not willing to do that or you question how much of yourself you're willing to give then why are you even around? 

Unanswered.

    
    Sometime I sit and I think about all the things I go through in life and I wonder exactly what it is I'm suppose to gain out of those situations. Matters in love always seem to puzzle me most. How do you figure out what love is? How much do you put up with when you think you're truly in love? How much is too much? Is there a breaking point? When its "unconditional love" how do you apply restrictions? How can you love someone so much to the point where it hurts physically? No, I don't mean domestic abuse, I mean you love the person so much that your heart aches to the bone when things aren't right. 


     These unanswered question are just that, unanswered. Love is unexplained but its the most powerful feeling in the world. When its real its forever right? I've been in love before. Maybe once, maybe twice but it wasn't the spiritual love that God gives you for the person he made especially for you. Your soulmate. I feel like I can say that confidently because that is the love I have now. The kind that is patient and kind. The kind that doesn't boast, that isn't proud. The kind that comes straight out of the bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. The kind that God places on your heart. 




    What I do know is that there is a limit. You can love someone with all that you have but only so much emotional abuse can be tolerated before its best to let go. At the end of the day, no matter how much you know you love whomever it is that holds the key to your whole heart, you have to love yourself first. You can't allow anyone to take advantage of something that's suppose to be happy and pure. Love is beautiful. To be turned ugly is the worse kind of evil. You can't let your heart blind your mind. Know your worth and know that the love you give, you are worth that same love in return. It hurts like hell to let go of someone you saw as your forever but sometimes its necessary. One of my favorite quotes sums up perfectly exactly how it all works. If you love something let it go, if it comes back its yours forever. If it never returns then it was never yours to begin with. 


    I hope this helps..


Love Always,
Ashley B.